Blackened Innocence
by PotterPerfect 07
Summary: "Your kisses burn like fire and I hate them." Kahlan's thoughts on season 1's finale- 1x22 Reckoning . An account of what followed after Rahl's words: "I would expect you to be my wife...in every way."


**A/N: **This was one of my favorite episodes and I just couldn't resist turning it onto a fanfic after I noticed the lack of Kahlan's thoughts on the whole matter. :) So...I hope you like it.

**Disclaimer: **Not mine!

****Spoilers** for the end (last episode 1x22) of season 1**

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**Blackened Innocence **

"I would expect you to be my wife…in every way."

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Kahlan was being led through a long corridor with high stone walls adorned with flaming torches on either side. She felt sick. Unbidden thoughts and images raced through her mind as she blindly followed the man in front of her.

Darken Rahl stopped at the end of the long corridor and turned to the two men flanking his left and right. He silently held up his left hand, dismissing them and they turned on their heels and disappeared down the hall. Rahl spun around slowly and spun the knob to an intricately carved oak door, a coy smile playing his lips. Swinging the door open he stepped across the threshold but immediately spun around when he heard no footsteps behind him.

Kahlan lingered in the threshold, shaking, her eyes scanning the room beyond her. It was clear to her that Darken Rahl sought grandeur; grandeur appropriate to what was expected of the mother confessor, though these thoughts did anything but mollify her. Her attention was drawn to the large bed in the center of the room; it caused her to involuntarily shudder. It was foreboding, ominous, and it was her fate.

"Come, my pet." Rahl sneered, and when Kahlan didn't move he advanced swiftly upon her, striking her face with his palm. She cried out and staggered backwards. "Have you forgotten our deal, Mother Confessor?" he said. His voice was oily and dripped with false sweetness. "The Seeker is gone- you are mine." He grabbed the nape of her neck and forcefully led her across the room, throwing her down on the bed when they reached it.

Kahlan fell backwards and lay still. She had accepted her fate. She did not like it- in fact she despised it with every fiber of her being, but she accepted it. There would be no point in fighting it- Zedd was dead and Richard had gone spirits only knew where… If there was any chance of seeing Richard again, this was it. She had to swallow her pride and give in.

Rahl bent down over her and captured her lips in an icy kiss. It was full of force- and not the force that possessed Richards kisses (a force of love and passion). This was a force of lust and brutality. This man above her was not her Richard, but a man filled with merciless hate.

As Rahl kissed her she held her lips still, allowing him to manipulate them whichever way he wanted. She had given in, yes, but she was not going to give him anything back- she would not enjoy this. Rahl sensed her defiance and dug his fist roughly into her stomach. She gasped at the momentary lack of air and he smiled. Enraged, Kahlan kept her lips limp, refusing to give Rahl what he wanted.

But she had forgotten one thing- Rahl always got what he wanted.

*_SLAP*_

Another backhand to her cheek; the spot was now an angry red patch, ungracefully marring her smooth complexion. Without a sound, without words, Kahlan gave him what he wanted though it absolutely killed her. Moving her lips more fiercely against his own, Kahlan tried to imagine that the cruel man she was looking up at was Richard instead.

She closed her eyes: Richard was hovering above her, kissing her passionately, his hands entwined in her hair, stroking it softly. "Kahlan" he muttered into her lips causing her to give a soft smile. "Richard…" she replied, taking his lower lip into his mouth.

"_What!_" the sound of rage brought her out of her daydream, her happy place, and she was forced to look up at the beast above her. "You dare call the Seeker's name? When I, Master Rahl, so kindly gave you a shelter to live in, a bed to share, and my love to cherish?"

"Your _love_?" Kahlan spat. "_Love_?" She reached her hand up and touched the silver Rada'Han gripping her neck. "This isn't love. This is enslavement." She had the urge to spit in his face but the retributions would be far too great.

Darken Rahl gave a hollow laugh of contempt and bent down to kiss her again. Before he reached her lips however, Kahlan whispered menacingly- "I hate you."

She knew it had been a risk to act on such an impulse the moment the words had left her lips. Rahl lashed his arm out and grabbed something off the bedside table. When he held it between their two bodies, Kahlan realized that it was a short dagger. Rahl pressed its tip against her throat and she began to breathe faster, becoming fearful.

"Beg." He commanded.

"I will not." She stated, looking him directly in the eyes. "The mother confessor begs for no one."

"She will if she values her life…" Rahl dug the dagger's point in harder, drawing slight droplets of blood. Kahlan was about to reply that her life meant nothing to her anymore- that she'd rather die than lie with him, but then she thought of Richard and of how much he needed a confessor in the future. She must do this…for him.

"Please…" she whispered.

"Please what?"

'Please master Rahl, please don't hurt me…" Kahlan almost wished he would run her through with the dagger right here, right now.

"No promises." He sneered, capturing her lips again.

His kisses burned like fire and she hated them. 'Richard' she thought, think of Richard. But even Richard could not keep her from crying out as Rahl's knife began cutting down the front of her confessors dress, leaving her only in her corset.

Rahl smiled as he touched her. She shuddered.

"So much softer than a Mord-Sith…" he said silkily. "So innocent…though of course, that _is_ the burden of being a Confessor, isn't it? Never being able to be with the one you desire…the one you love…? Tell me Kahlan Amnell, what is it like to want something so badly that you would die for it…but never be able to obtain it?"

A tear rolled down Kahlan's cheek as he continued to touch her. She wondered vaguely if she would be swift enough to snatch the dagger from Rahl and drive it into his heart. Deciding against it, Kahlan closed her eyes- maybe it would be better if she couldn't see the man before her.

Rahl slowly drew his mouth away from hers and began to unlace her corset.

"_Stop_!" Kahlan bolted upright, pushing Rahl off her as she did so. 'I-I cant do this." She stammered.

"You certainly can, Kahlan Amnell, and you will." Rahl pushed her down on the bed and, making haste, ripped off her corset. Kahlan cried in earnest now, completely vulnerable to a man so vile, so heartless, that she wanted him dead more than any other in the world.

Rahl licked the tips of his fingers and drew circles and shapes along her body, making her shiver as the fresh air blew across her self. How ironic, she thought that her entire life's existence had been dedicated to killing the very man she was now being forced to lie with. Up until now she vowed for herself, for Richard and for everyone she loved that she would help be the end of Rahl. But how odd, that the very future of them all depended on the very action of sleeping with him. She needed this, Richard needed this. She would save him, even if she would be dead by the time she succeeded.

As Rahl violated her, Kahlan's tears rolled sideways off her face, splashing down onto the pillow. She did not make a sound, but silently allowed Rahl to penetrate her, slowly dying inside.

When he was finished, Darken Rahl rolled off her and stood. He grabbed a maroon robe from an ebony wardrobe in the corner of the room, and throwing it over himself, turned to Kahlan. She was lying in his bed, panting, her dark hair splayed across the white sheets- the very sight of blackened innocence.

"I will return in several days…and when I do, I had better be greeted by the news that I shall soon possess an heir. If I do not-" he paused, fastening the tie around the robe and opening the oak door. "We will simply have to keep trying." He sneered and slammed the door shut behind him.

Kahlan wiped the tears from her eyes, but as she lay there in her enemy's bedchambers she realized that she could never erase what had just happened. It would always be in the back of her mind, tormenting her. The feeling of filthiness one experiences after having done a horrid deed.

Her plan was set in action, and through this grand sacrifice she had taken one step closer to saving Richard. She turned over and pulled the sheets up to cover herself, hugging them to her for security. Eventually, sleep overcame her tears and she drifted into sub-consciousness, her last thoughts of Richard.

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**A/N:** Thanks for reading, and please review- its the only payment I'm allowed. :) And it would make me so happy. I'm sure you know the feeling. :) keep the seeker alive! And if you're a huge fan check out deej's cracky recaps on livejournal- they are the funniest things i have ever had the pleasure to encounter. And for all you S.o.T book fans, yes, Rahl's finger-licking was a book reference. :P


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